it's a beautiful day...

Saturday, June 28, 2008

living life to its fullest...

I didn't realised the meaning of the above title until recently.
even though i have less time to slp, but i feel that I've been spending time meaningfully..

Sunday, June 15, 2008

100th post.....

its been quite a while since i last blogged...
laziness gets the better of me. and now, i'm proud to say, this blog of ... hell, i dunno how long...
has reached the 100th post... yeah!!
(can i excuse my absence because i wanted to figure out what to post for this glorious moment...)
*wink*

the past few week was used to figure out some of my thinking, not really straightened out, but it might be a good start to a better future... made quite a few impulsive decisions, good or bad? i have no idea, time will tell... so, either i sit in a corner and turn autistic or i'll be stand tall and proud... nvm, humans can only try to make out what's to come and the big boss upstairs will make the final call...

Friday, April 11, 2008

Tears

I thought I'd lost the ability to cry, to shed tears...
but I was wrong.
I cried a lot last night.
no, my friend... nothin so tragic happened to my life.
Just that I watched a drama with very tragic ending.

为别人的遭遇落下眼泪是件很悲壮的事。
尽管，人物与事件都是虚构的。
所以，女人都爱看长篇连续剧，而，男人，比较喜欢历史片。

我以前总以为，哭，是懦弱的标签。
所以，非常唾弃用哭来表现自己。
然而，我忘了，女人始终是水做的。
哭，并非软弱，只是让人凭弔伤感，其后，才可以再振作。

After watching the drama, I decided to take a break from my laptop screen.
Read a book bought during the Hong Kong trip.
The Five People You Meet in Heaven byMitch Albom.
Little did I know about the book other than its a bestseller.
It sent me thinking about life and death.
I started wondering if through any of my wilful behavior, I caused the death of another.
Wonder if I die, have I loved?
Wonder if I know how to sacrifice like the Captain of Eddie.
Reading the scene of when Eddie met his wife in heaven,
I cried again...

Results of all the venting of emotions through tear glands,
a pair of swollen eyes, which I managed to subside the swelling with a couple of ice cubes.

the Crying was good. Suddenly felt lighter, relieved.
Despite the facts it has nothing to do with my life.

Therefore, I advise all those people who feels like a fully stretched rubber band,
go find some very tear-inducing shows to watch,
does takes your minds of your own troubles.
=P

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

back...

back...
but i fell into the abyss of emptiness...
suffering withdrawal syndrome..
from total relaxation.. back to the cold cruel reality of the world.
haven't got the mood to start uploading my pictures into my laptop anyways...
since i reached home in the afternoon, had been busy doing everything, and nothing...
well, suddenly fell so lonely...
so out-of-the world...
something, in fact most of the time,
i feel i'm to the extent of non-existent.
mayb its just that i realised nobody actually contacted me during the past 5 days i was away...
except for mr. samuel and my family...

On the contrary, i'll feel very disturbed when i keep receiving people's calls and messages..
very extreme ain't it..??
i daren't say i'm of split personality,
but i propose the idea of having dual personality...
hmph... i guess that's just human...
i embrace solitude, but i fear silence...

ok, back to my trip...
will post pictures after i'm done uploading it..

havent did much, neither seen much...
(the most exciting thing during the whole trip was the bus ride from the Peak back to Central. Awesome...)
but, shopped and walked a lot..
i suppose that's the idea of a shopping holiday..
though i had a lot of addition to my wardrobe,
but i think i'm still more suited for adventure..
cityscape can only awe me for as long as a moment...
but, nature can always take my breath away...
(erm... not bad breath)
Stong, or Redang...
Kinabalu is good too...
how about white-water rafting...??

i miss the adrenaline rush!!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

coward...

I feel that I'm a coward...
I used to feel fearless...
Thinking that ordeals in life are but tests of my resilience...
Keeping in mind that Impossible is nothing...
now, I find myself walking on the spot..
dare not put myself in the arena of unknown...
that one step that I know will take me further was not taken..
because I know that this is a make-it-or-break-it situation...
All these acts of cowardice and dastardliness made me all weary and tired...
All I can do is occupy my body and minds in useless entertainment..
I need courage...

I learnt that one of my very good friend is probably going astray in life,
I do not understand...
maybe it's my cowardly behavior that deters me from doing similar things in life..
I feels that there are things that are strictly no-nos,
places that are rigidly out-of-bound...
Standing by my principles,
I wish my friends doesn't do things bad for themselves...
even more so when they knows such things shouldn't be done in the first place...
I fathom that people do make their own choices,
but ain't there better things to do...

This world is increasing in its complexity, something that I could not grasp...

To conclude, there's no conclusion...

Saturday, March 15, 2008

rainy... raining!!

today is the day for impromptu actions...
i booked my air tickets to HK,
went for a swim..
cooked pasta (that was surprisingly good) for me and my mum...
well, did things on impulse,
but still, not enough to start on my assignment....
now its raining... why??
making me feeling all nostalgic...
(guess that's just an excuse for me to procrastinate once again....)

Friday, March 14, 2008

i need more energy...

today, had a mini poly class gathering...
was fun and interesting knowing how each individual is getting on in life,
finally saw jiaqin...
since like a couple years ago i went to her 21st bday celebration...
i guess we were really close in poly, that why even till now i still sense a bond between us...
felt that all of us grew up..
in one way or another...
even most of my guy classmates had completed NS...
my only exclamation is that time really flies..

today, once again feel the energy new low...
not that anything actually happened..
but i just can't muster enough motivation to start on my assignment...
which is due in like 10 days time...
hai...
i'm so dead!! help....
part time studies realli rely alot on determination and discipline...
i tink i have a discipline-deficiency syndrome...
argh!!!

dead dead dead dead dead!!!!!!